How to Build Your Self-Esteem

Easier said than done, right? Well, not really. We do understand that you might be afraid of how they'll respond. But know that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain once you try. Time flies and things change. You will never know when this guy stops showing up at that coffee shop, or when that girl stops waving at you, so better grab the chance and talk to them.

How? There is quite a lot to learn about starting conversations and being sociable. But for now, we'll stick to the necessary foundation of what makes people's dating lives and relationships successful, and that is confidence.

Lucky for you, confidence can be learned, and we have everything you need to know!

People are not born with self-esteem, nor are they born without it. Confidence is a skill. It is not innate to us, and it's something we can master. That means that efforts can be made to improve it.

If you struggle to make the first move or make relationships last, there may be some events in the past that have caused you to lose your self-confidence. 

You may ask, why is confidence such a big deal? Well, you see, confidence plays a vital role in making relationships work. People who are confident in themselves and as well as on their partners are usually the ones who have healthy romantic relationships.

So, if you're the type of person who is too afraid to strike a conversation, or is having a hard time keeping a healthy relationship, you might want to search your heart and assess where this is coming from.

We have also come up with a shortlist of possible causes of low esteem:

Most of the time, people are scared to pursue someone because they think they don't have "enough experience" when it comes to relationships (and sex). This does not only affect those who never had a girlfriend or boyfriend but also those who have just recently gotten out of a long-term commitment.

If you start overthinking about your relationship skills, this will only make you feel like you are never enough.

Not all relationships are perfect. You may be one of the many who have experienced physical or verbal abuse (or both). Or maybe you have been continuously shut down by your exes. These unhealthy relationships may have had affected how you talk and behave, which dramatically affects how you look at yourself and how you act towards other people. 

Bad breakups can also affect your self-esteem. Breakups usually sum up a relationship, and it's what usually leaves a mark in peoples hearts. Good breakups are rare and bad breakups are the worst. It is often when all the hidden hurts and hatred are said. Words we hear on these heated arguments may scar people's confidence. It makes them wonder if the same fate awaits them on their next relationship, thus adding insecurity and doubt to your relationship capabilities. The same goes for those who don't get the right closure. 

There is an end to these causes of low self-esteem. Continue reading and grab a free copy of this unique texting guide for men.

If you really think about it, you will realise that a lot of unwanted behaviours in either dating or courting stem from a person's lack of confidence. Listed below are some of the common things that happen when you have low self-esteem:

Being unable to start a conversation is a clear manifestation of a person's lack of self-esteem. Confident people aren't afraid to speak out their mind and communicate with anyone. 

Whenever comments are made against you, or jokes are somehow related to you, you get easily offended and hurt. Being overly sensitive is unhealthy for any kind of relationship. It causes unnecessary fights and hurts between the parties involved. 

If you want to be more effective in dating or in keeping relationships, you have to start building your confidence. That's why we have listed these effective ways to help you be a better version of yourself. 

Meditate, exercise, or find a hobby. Try to engage in activities that will help you get physically, mentally, and emotionally balanced. Have empathy for yourself. Take time to search and know the things that make you happy, because, above anyone else, you are the one who should know yourself better.

One of the reasons why people are insecure about themselves is because they compare. There will always be somebody better than you, so there is no point in comparing yourself with other people all the time. Maximise your strengths and celebrate other people's uniqueness. You will never be satisfied with yourself if you compare yourself with others.

As an individual, we are unique and have our differences. Do not let other people dictate who you should be. Discover your passion, find what you genuinely enjoy and want and be yourself. As long as you are not stepping on other people, you are good.

Even when you think that the compliments people are giving you are flattery, believe it. There's no harm in appreciating yourself. Sometimes, we only see our flaws, and we need other people to show us what we're worth. But always to do a heart check, and keep those compliments close to your heart (not head), and your feet on the ground. 

Keep your self-esteem on check with this guide available for women! Simply sign up here, and we will send you this full guide in becoming 100% confident about yourself!

Change your mindset from negative to positive to help you build your self-esteem. Your perception has a huge impact on your confidence level. One's quality of thinking determines a person's future, whether it will be dark and miserable or bright and successful. Choose to have a winning mindset, it will keep your head high when the odds are not in your favour. A positive person does not easily back down when facing difficult situations, instead, he/she finds a way to make light of the problem and get through it.

Celebrate your victories, both big and small. It will remind you of your worth and your strengths. Instead of sulking over your failures, appreciate your successes. Look how far you have come and how much better you are now than yourself five or ten years ago. Think about the people you inspired and helped in your little ways. When you focus on your accomplishments, you will be inspired to do more and become better. 

Confident people are not afraid of the future. They compose themselves properly and makes a good impression towards others. Thus, people who are confident have healthier relationships and are more capable of making friends with people even of different social classes. The graphic below contains a clearer comparison of those who are confident versus those who are not.

It's amazing how self-esteem can help you with gajillion things, especially in love and relationships. Trusting and believing in yourself can be difficult. The process takes a lot of time and patience, but when you finally learn it, you'll realise that it was worth it.

Right now, you might still have self-doubts, but that's okay. In fact, that's normal just don't look down on yourself. Stay strong and keep motivated through your ups and downs. You are amazing, and start seeing that!